Product Development and New Brand

I've got a new brand in the works. I want Ivre de Fleurs to be about fragrance, so I'll be creating a new brand for all the other things. And by "all the other things," I'm currently thinking of pretty much everything, but of course, one thing at a time. I'll be announcing the new brand once I have more ready for it. So far it has a name and not much else. Except for some ingredients for me to experiment with. Plant sterols, anyone?

I will keep lip balms, hair oils, and a few other things where fragrance is a key part of the product for Ivre de Fleurs. I'm doing some stability testing for a new lip balm formula to make sure it doesn't turn grainy over time. Grainy lip balm is safe to use, but having a nice smooth one to put on is much better. I am also testing a new hair oil blend with new packaging.

I'm testing perfume bottles out as well!

I also contacted a school about what classes I would need to meet their admission requirements. That was terrifying for me, since it was the first step towards going back to school. And I must say, community colleges are bargains- why don't we all just do 2 years at those before moving on the expensive schools? I think living is all about reminding myself of all the mistakes I made when I was younger. Like going to an overpriced school for four years. And yes, most schools are overpriced. I really wish my alumni association would send me checks, rather than begging me to write one.

Intoxication- Walking Under the Influence (of Jasmine)

I haven't enjoyed moving to Mountain View, but when I'm walking here and there, I can at least enjoy the abundance of flowers here. For a few moments, the fragrance takes me away from where I am. Long stretches of jasmine, large and fragrant roses, and the blossoming trees stop me in my tracks, and all is right and beautiful. I move on sadly, looking forward to the next moment when the scent of flowers fills the air.

I spent several years trying to figure out what to do with my life. I knew I wanted to start my own business at some point, but it took awhile to figure it out. When I started studying perfumery, I knew that I wanted to work with these captivating materials. I feel intoxicated after spending a day in a room full of essential oils, absolutes, and other aromatics. Sometimes it will make me giddy, excited, and just happier. Other times it's so intense and I need to step out for fresh air.

When I started Ivre de Fleurs, I knew I wanted to focus on natural fragrance. Knowing that not everyone likes or wears perfumes, I decided to include bath and body products, like lip balms, hair oils, etc. These would let me share the fragrances with a wider group of people, and allow me to work with different mediums as well.

As time went by and I developed the brand, my mind was pulled this way and that. The products I made and the direction of my brand have led me to a point where I look at what I have, and I'm not excited by it. I've barely blogged the past few months, and without Instagram, I would have barely done anything with social media. I'm not a real fan of social media - I'm more of a keep to myself kind of person - but I keep hearing how important it is for business.

I've spent the time experimenting and studying the past few months, and also figuring out where I want my brand to head. Along the way I pondered so many possibilities, each tempting, but they would take away from what I really want to do. And that is create beautiful and strange fragrances. I'm going to refocus my creative energies on scent creation. I'm going to make lip balms, hair oils, and a few other products, but for now at least, I won't be making soap.

Ivre de Fleurs translates to "drunk with flowers," but so far I've aimed for a more restrained, quiet brand. I hope to breathe life into it with the passion I feel for the materials, and the wild beauty I strive to capture.

"In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes,
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo."

-T.S. Eliot, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

Chemistry and Poetry

I remember at my job interview for my library assistant position I was asked, "What brings you joy?" It was probably just a throw away question, one meant to be easy. The interviewer, an HR assistant, said it's fine to answer with money, that's what some people answer. Oh, if money was all I needed for joy- at least it is tangible. A lot of things make me happy- cats, the scent of jasmine in the air, the people I love...But this happiness is a fleeting feeling, not a sustained feeling of contentedness.

I answered that finishing something brings me joy. Like putting the finishing touches on something I created, or getting to the end of a difficult book. I do read plenty of books more for knowledge than entertainment, so sometimes just getting through them feels like an accomplishment.

I think I did horribly with that job interview, even ignoring that question, but I got the job anyway. I guess there weren't many other people interested in it, plus I was able to temp while they were deciding. I'm more impressive working than interviewing. During my time there, I learned that there is never an end to anything- assignments from years ago would rise from the dead. Never knowing if something was truly over, I couldn't enjoy anything. I worked there for over eight years, and by the time I quit I was bored and frustrated at the lack of opportunity to advance. The only interesting work left was for me to head down to our "technical books" section and find specifics on semiconductors, 802.11, programming, etc. (By the way, isn't OOPSLA the most fun name for a conference? I just love it.)

I love learning. I've been studying cosmetic chemistry kind of casually since I started the business, but I've been delving deeper into it lately. I listen to chemistry lectures instead of music while working. I read books with funny squiggly carbon chains. Those carbon diagrams used to confuse me, but now I enjoy them. And so I start wondering if I should go back to school and get my master's in cosmetic chemistry.

Oh, but how I hate formal education! I feel like I've learned so much more on my own than I did in school. I did well in school, but it all just felt like part of what I had to do. Go to school, get good grades, go to college, and then join the workforce. Back in high school I assumed after getting my bachelor's, I'd go on to graduate school, but I was disenchanted after four years of college. Screw the talk about college being the best years of your life- it was four years of misery for me. Just thinking about it makes me melodramatic. I worry going back to school would hurt me more than help me.

How much would I never learn if I do go back to school? Would I have time to study art, poetry, literature? After all, I seek poetry for comfort, not skeletal formulas (yes, skeletal formulas are a real term, I'm not just trying to make them sound cold and lifeless). I want to capture the art and beauty in scent. A fragrance is more than just the sum of its molecules- for me it's capturing an idea in a bottle. The thought of translating the abstract into a scent fascinates me. Stretching the imagination this way and that leaves me restless, wondering how far it can go before it snaps.

I wish I had time to study everything that interests me- all of the above, plus so much more. I would take this knowledge and blow it up like a giant balloon so close to popping. And then I would ever so gently paint a flower on that balloon.

"Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question...
Oh, do not ask, 'What is it?'
Let us go and make our visit."

-T.S. Eliot, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

Photos

I realize I'm a bit strange at this point, with everyone whipping out their cell phones to take pictures of this, that, and the other thing. But after going to a wedding across the country and visiting my friends, I only had one new picture on my phone.

One of the worst business books ever.

I saw the books in the bargain section of the used bookstore, turned to my friends to make a joke, but then realized none of them would get it. So I snapped it and sent it on to a friend that would get it.

My friends had taken plenty of pictures, and at the wedding there was a photographer, so I figured I would just enjoy things and let them deal with the photos.

10 years ago I went to London and Paris. I took quite a few pictures in London, and started taking them in Paris. I realized something seemed off about my camera in Paris, and it turns out the film never loaded properly, and I had no pictures. I was upset at first, but decided not to make a big deal out of it. My camera was still acting up, and I didn't feel like buying a disposable camera- disposable is just such a nasty word, when you think of it. I enjoyed the rest of my time in Paris camera-free.

I realize a film camera seems like an antique to some people at this point, but I hadn't gone digital yet.

After that trip I stopped taking so many pictures. For me I enjoy my time better when I'm looking around me, absorbing the sites, the sounds, the smells. I know there are people out there that just really love taking pictures, and that's fine. But ask yourself if you're spending too much time worrying about the perfect picture instead of living in the moment. Plus, chances are if you're with a group of people, one of them will be a shutterbug and snap away.

So far I do the product photography for Ivre de Fleurs, and I must admit I hate it. I'll be outsourcing some of it soon, since try as I might, I'm just not a great photographer. Plus the natural light I get is pretty dismal.

In the Works and Such

I was really hoping to write more once I no longer had my day job, but I just haven't felt like writing as much as I should. I've had so much other stuff to do, and still more I can do, that I haven't made blogging a priority.

I've been working on some new perfumes, and quite a bit of soap. I'll be coming out with fall/Halloween soaps hopefully in the beginning of October. It can take so long for soap to cure, and since I've gone palm free and soy free, I'm finding it trickier to make a hard bar. I don't think the hydrogenated soy helped much anyway, but even with sodium lactate, I've found some batches hard to remove from the molds. I'll also be working on winter/Christmas soaps soon. As much as I love fall, I truly love winter. The scents, the colors- everything is perfect and beautiful. I really want to capture the freshness of newly fallen snow. It's too bad I'm not likely to see any this year, and haven't seen good snow in a long time. Last year I did see a few patches of old snow in Ohio, but that's not exciting.

I'll be writing more about the perfumes as I post them for sale. I've been having lots of fun with fragrance lately, and I'm even delving into home fragrance! Home fragrance is tricky though- essential oils don't seem to want to blast you in the face the way some people might want them to, so it's taking some time.

No More Day Job!

This past Monday I gave notice at work, with an end date of 8/15. I was honestly nervous beforehand, because I like my co-workers and didn't want to make their jobs harder by leaving. Plus leaving them makes me sad. On the other hand, I'm excited that I finally get to devote my time to turning Ivre de Fleurs into the company that I want it to be. Trying to balance a full time job and a business was draining me, and I couldn't give my best to either one.

I had considered at one point going to back to school to get my Master's in Library Science. This was a truly horrible idea- I hate formal education, even though I tend to do well in school. Without that degree, I had no way of getting promoted at my current work place (which is ridiculous, since I was clearly up to the job). Even with the degree, there was no guarantee of promotion, since it depends on the firm's needs. So then I would have a some-what expensive degree (I estimated about $25,000) that could help me get a job in libraries, except that librarian positions are being cut left and right everywhere.

I can't imagine spending my life doing mostly menial work, with bursts of real research here and there. And there is no beauty in a law firm (at least not the one I worked at). For so long I've been walking down drab hallways filled with every shade of blah. Soon I'll be dedicating my time to making life more beautiful, one drop of jasmine at a time.

I hope everyone gets a chance to pursue their dream job at some point. I feel really lucky that I'm able to do so, since I know that the difficulties of life make it impossible for others. If you have the chance though, take it.

Hydrosols

Lately I've been researching hydrosols- water that has been used to distill a plant for its essential oil. While they are usually a byproduct of essential oil distillation,  sometimes the distillation is done specifically for creating the hydrosol. They are often cheaper than the essential oil, perhaps always, but I haven't looked too much into it yet. The scent is lighter, and often quite different than the fragrance of the essential oil.

Witch hazel is one of the most common hydrosols, and you can often find it at your drugstore, mixed with 14% alcohol as a preservative. You can sometimes find rose or orange blossom waters in the baking section.

The problem with hydrosols is that since they do contain water, they can go bad. If you're buying small amounts for personal use, it's probably safe to keep it in your refrigerator and use them quickly.While looking into hydrosols, I also started looking into preservatives, since I wouldn't want to sell anything that could go bad easily. While I didn't want to use preservatives in my products at first, after doing some research, I've found some that I would be comfortable using in my products. If the tests turn out well, I might have some hydrosol products available for sale soon. There is also alcohol- a good amount of high proof alcohol also acts as a preservative (see witch hazel, above).

I have bought several small bottles of hydrosols, and while I plan on moving forward with using some of them, others were not so appealing. Yarrow is almost gag-inducing. There are also some fruit hydrosols out there, which can be used to create natural fragrances with strawberry, apple, and other fruity scents.

Flowers

When I started this blog, I used the description "Flowers, fragrance, beauty." I just changed it to "Fragrance, beauty, and business," since that more accurately reflects what the blog is about. I had hoped to write more about flowers, and I still do, but mostly in terms of their fragrance or use in a product. But now I won't feel like I'm feeling so deceptive- I don't want someone to see flowers in the description, and expect to see posts with photos and words all about flowers.

I'll still right write about flowers, at least hopefully, from time to time. That will include today.

When I was young, I would sometimes walk with my grandmother through her yard (really, my father's yard) and her neighbor's yard, looking at the flowers. She would tell me their names, and then I would try to identify them on future walks. These weren't particularly fancy flowers, but I still enjoyed learning about them. She was frail throughout most of my childhood, and these walks were probably good at getting her out for a little bit. She and my father both died when I was eleven, but I believe the walks ended some time before that.

My mother's house had flowers, too, of course, but I don't remember those as well. There was rose bush by the driveway that was eventually cut down so it would stop scratching the cars- at least I think that's why it was cut down. There was a big lilac bush on one side, at least I think it was lilac. It had large clusters of purple flowers, and I know it wasn't wisteria. We moved to a place with lots of trees and shade. We grew hydrangeas along the path to the front door, and I remember little crocuses popping up through the snow as the first sign that spring was coming.

Living in college dorms and various apartments, flowers were of little importance. I had nowhere to grow them, though I sometimes had a bouquet in vase. When my husband and I bought a house with a yard, I was excited about having lots of flowers, and would look around the neighborhood for inspiration. But I had a black thumb and we never replaced our yard with drought tolerant plants and flowers (though we didn't water the grass either- my apologies to those who had to look at my yard). Lavender was the thing I could grow best, and by grow best, I mean it was the thing I could ignore and it would still thrive. Giant white calla lilies would also show up when the rainy season started with no effort on my part, along with a few other random flowers the previous owner had planted. But I never did get well at adding flowers to the garden, or keeping many of the other plants thriving.

I'm now back in an apartment, with a little house plant. It's over a year old, and the flowers are blooming again. Such a nice little plant- it seems to do fine with little attention.

Perfume Class and Art

This past Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I spent my days taking classes at Mandy Aftel's studio in Berkeley along with seven other students. This was my third time attending this class, and it was amazing as always. If you're interested in studying natural perfumery, this is the place to be. Mandy has so many essences, one's that you'll never be able to smell any where else, and with the exception of the antique ones, you can use any of them in the blends you make.

Each day you make a blend, and then remake it based on Mandy's critique. The critiques are very helpful, and they're not at all mean or scary, for anyone reading this that might think of attending some day. You then remake your blend based on that. The first day we had to work with six essences voted on by the class, and needed to add a few more to complete the blend, working out how much of each to add. The second day was similar, but with three instead of six. The third day we got to choose three essences we wanted to work with, and then make our blends around that.

The first day was a bit of a disaster for me, since I became anosmic to a very strong scent that isn't so pleasant in high doses, and I put a whole lot in my blend. For my remake I added only a small amount, and tried to do my best knowing that I couldn't smell two of the things I needed to use. The other two days were easier, since I was able to smell everything I was putting in. Though I must admit adding black tea absolute to my blend on the third day was difficult, not due to the odor, but due to the fact that it took forever to dissolve in the alcohol. I left it out of my remake just because I didn't want to have to spend an hour shaking my bottle to get it thoroughly dissolved.

For me, one of the best parts of the class is spending three days with people who feel the same way I do about scent and perfume. For me, working on a blend is a form of art, with the various scents replacing paint and the alcohol or oil replacing the canvas. It might not seem like art to most people, and a lot of perfumes out there aren't really art. But for me, each drop is carefully thought out, and the final fragrance often started with an idea or feeling. I spent all of my life searching for an art form to express myself. But I can't act, I'm not musical, and I'm pretty bad with painting/drawing. Some crafts kind of help with that, but I could never take any of them to the level of art. I did want to be a writer, and I probably graduated high school with more English credits than anyone else, but even if I could learn to write well, the words would feel false. This doesn't apply to non-fiction and journalism, of course, but the only satisfaction I could get out of those was editing. I really did love my red pen.

I stumbled on natural perfumery a few years ago, and while I enjoyed it, the materials are expensive, and with a limited collection of essential oils, it was more frustrating than fun. After volunteering as a teacher's assistant for the same natural perfumes class at The Nova Studio a year later, something just clicked, and I knew that I wanted to study perfumery. I started collecting more essential oils and absolutes, worked my way through Mandy's Level 1 work book, and have now taken three of her in studio classes. I am working my way through the advanced work book, but have only done a little of it so far. I hope to continue studying, and I also hope to bring the beauty of natural fragrance to everyone, whether it be through a perfume or a lip balm.

New Year's Resolutions (of a sort)

I'm not big into New Year's resolutions- a lot of them are thought up with good intentions, but hard to follow through with. I do try to think of what I need to do to make the coming year better though.

On a personal level, I feel my life is pretty good, but I'd like to work on a few things. I don't really like my shopping habits, and so I need to work on that. I'd also like to get back to tracking my weight each week- I did that for awhile, and I think it helped, but then slacked off. I don't feel much of a need to lose weight right now, but I'd like to make sure I don't put any more on.

On a business level, I feel like the main thing I want to work on is refocusing my brand. My products feel kind of scattered now, which might not seem obvious, but when I was selling at the SF Holiday Bazaar, I felt like I was a little too scattered.

Since scent is what I care about most, I am going to start by making natural fragrance the center of my brand. While I love trying exotic ingredients, most customers seem to have little interest in the strange and wonderful things I add. So I'll be sticking to more basic (but still awesome) ingredients, while working on exotic scents. I still have a few interesting ingredients to use up, so if you do like trying the latest and greatest, keep an eye out on my Etsy store for limited time items.

Living in a world of scent

Try to think of everything you smell each day. Most scents come and go without giving you any pause. Every now and then, something catches your nose, and you think about it- there's a memory of it, or a distaste for it, or perhaps it's a scent you adore. Some scents we become so accustomed to, we don't even smell them- the way our homes smell or the scent of our perfumes.

I make an effort to notice every odor I can. Sometimes this is a good thing, other times it's not so great, since the world isn't always a pleasant smelling place. When I walk to my office in San Francisco, I'll catch whiffs of a wide variety of odors within a short amount of time. There's the food form the restaurants I pass, the occasional bits of nature in the form of flowers, trees, or bushes, the more industrial smells from road work or new construction. I smell cigarette smoke way too often, which bothers my lungs, and pot smoke fairly regularly as well- while it doesn't bother my lungs, I think marijuana is rather nasty smelling. Sometimes there's the smoke from a fire, and I hope there's nothing too serious happening at those times.

There's one spot where there's a water fountain, and it has a kind of fake maple sweet smell to it, perhaps like fenugreek. I'll catch someone's perfume or cologne as they walk by- usually thinking to myself that they really ought to be wearing less, especially when I can smell it half a block away. There are odors that I'd prefer not to write about- fortunately those aren't as bad in my area as in others.

The office building is generally one of those places I fell has a neutral odor- I'm used to it. Sometimes I'll get into an empty elevator, and the scent of perfume or cigarettes lingers from the previous occupant. During lunch time there will be food smells, especially if one of the conference rooms has a hosted lunch.

My apartment often has way too many scents to describe- if I'm making something, that will often fill the space. My work space has dozens of essential oils in it, and while the bottles are closed, I feel they contribute to the scent of that room. They definitely make my trash and recycling smell nicer than most people's! Sometimes there will be soup simmering, cookies baking, or candles burning, and those will be the predominant smells. And while I love scented candles, I don't use "air fresheners." Cleaning products might add some odors, but I generally try to find ones that don't smell too strongly.

There's also those smells that are hard to describe, but you know what they are- for me those are the seasons, like when I'm walking, and I suddenly smell "fall" or "summer." They don't always coincide with the actual season, especially now that I live in San Francisco, but when I'm walking around and those scents hit me, they just trigger those seasons in my brain. And while I definitely don't get it in SF, the smell of snow is distinct to me, but I don't think I have words for how it smells to me.